you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
