So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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