VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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