ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
