Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
