Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
