Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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