and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
