You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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