i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize