I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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