Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
