I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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