so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
