So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
