His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
