your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
