My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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