Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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