I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
