I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
