Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
