I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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