I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
