Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
