whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
