That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
