I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
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she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize