More tranny stories later!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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