Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
