real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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