Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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