just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
