4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
it was like having sex with a tree stump
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
