i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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