i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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