if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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