I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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