Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
