white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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