I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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