are you still at the devil's house?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
