How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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