If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
