Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
