8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
