I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
