my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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