btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
