Nicole vs. Life
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
