So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
i think i just lost a toe
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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