There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm lost and stupid without you.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
