Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Dick very happy bro
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize