i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
