i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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