she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
