May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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