Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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