i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I love you.
Bad choice
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