we're blogging at a bar
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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