you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
