worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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