now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
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And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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