The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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